What Are We Fighting For?

Remember two years ago when a certain tweleb spear headed the donate a pad campaign in Zimbabwe and inspired other young people to do the same. I was one of those people and a few months from now I am going to unveil my latest project in partnership with a certain organization. That same guy is attacking women every single day on social media. He has become the “voice of the men” and is bringing back “masculinity” which is supposed to be the opposite of feminism. This guy attacks a lot of women on twitter but I’m gonna pose there and move on to another story.

Moving on.

Another female local artist asked people on Twitter why they are always blaming men when her only attackers are women. She is not even the first woman to be attacked by another female from Zwitter.

Twitter is now messy. That’s all I can say

https://twitter.com/ethel_evidence/status/1253549609533800448?s=21

People don’t even know what they stand for anymore. It’s one attack after the other. People bully each other and do not seem to show any kind of remorse. These keyboard warriors drag each other for the sake of a few likes, followers and retweets. He is not doing the donate a pad campaign anymore and would rather shame single mothers and senior girls. She has to think twice before she says something because as much as she is a ball of confidence, the words hurt a bit and unlike the other popular woman she does not have that kind of support system. This is just Zimbabwean twitter. Our battle is against the economy, the failing health system and unemployment but we are fighting each other. That’s it. Where is the Ubuntu?

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It’s Okay to Not Be Okay.

“If there is a title that you deserve right now it’s fighter and as soon as this is over you’re going to be a survivor because you and I are going to make it out alive.” – Tanaka

I read somewhere that when something hurts Beyonce or makes her sad, she gives herself time – a day I think, to cry about it and then she never lets it get to her again. Truth be told I do not how if she really said it but I did try it and it worked. So yes, it’s okay to not be okay sometimes.

Take it from me, take time to mourn the things that break your heart or hurt you. If you keep it concealed inside one day you’ll burst and a lot of emotions will be released and I’m not talking about the good kind.

https://youtu.be/2SJ0hgdciNE

So I’ve added two links to the two songs I listen to when I am trying to get over something. Sia reminds me that when I go through the worst, I still come out alive and Marshmello is trying to say that you can cry if you want to. Tears don’t mean that you’re weak and hurting is part of the human process.

Remember you are not alone.

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You don’t always have to be a hero

Here I was in the middle of a presentation which was going “okay”. By okay I mean that I stuck to the script but the lecturer did not seem impressed. That’s just how he is. The man will not smile if you show him a 30 minute video of the cutest things on the planet. I guess he has his own battles. 

My presentation was on a new business idea I had and I decided to present it in front of  a panel of judges from the university with a team a good friend of mine helped me pick. It was a last minute thing and even the planning was fast tracked but if everyone stuck to their script then we were assured of at least winning second place or at least third.

We were fifth – out of five teams *sigh*.

You see out of my four teammates there was this one guy that wanted to save us all. We had all expressed how we were nervous which is normal before any presentation even if you are that person that will bribe their way to a distinction. 

I admired his effort but he did screw up. Pitching an idea can be nerve wrecking and everyone was anxious but we were good. I was presentation skills were not even bad especially for a team of amateurs. All was well until Superman decided to shut everyone up and present everything all by himself. He practically muted us all. Yes, after the opening statement he went on and on to present our idea whilst we froze and smiled at the judges. To make matters worse, he was shivering and stammering. You could smell the fear off him from a mile away. I didn’t even know whether to shit my pants or cry. I knew we were screwed and I was right. No amount of prayer could have saved that pitch. The only thing prayer saved that day was him from my claws. I wanted to kill him. It’s been a year and I still do not do teams anymore. I role el solo lobo. In fact, I’ve stopped pitching my business ideas. I just work on getting the right angle to strike now. 

What I don’t get is why he wanted the spotlight on him when he was such a nervous wreck. His public speaking record was spotless and maybe he assumed that was the same superpower that he was going to use that same day to save us. But it didn’t. 

Do not try to be the hero every-time people, you might end up ruining a good thing. Please. Thank you. 

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Influencer or Influenza

Before I became a blogger I was plain boring, now I am less boring and my degree choice does not make it any better. I have been a blogger for over a year now and I have been taught so many things and most of them were not always good things and they bled me to the most important lesson of them all. The difference between an influencer and influenza. Yes, some of these bloggers are viruses. I am not one to shame people but I honestly feel bad for all the other girls in my shoes that follow these women. Women that make you feel less beautiful and want you to believe that living a life like theirs is “making it in life”. What’s worse is that they are everywhere. It’s so unfair. Social media is now being used as a platform to encourage girls to want the wrong things in life and if I hadn’t seen the light.

And you are obviously wondering Where and when I saw the light?

Well I was browsing through my Instagram stories and this was just after someone had told me to check out one of these influenzas’ page and I really felt so bad about myself, she had bloomed into this icon over a few months and established three businesses, was travelling all over the world, had over 200k followers and I will not even mention the clothes and makeup. It was admirable but I could not relate. Her source of income was unknown and unclear. I mean who becomes an Instagram model in less than six months and gets all that money. I did my research and the numbers did not add up. She is not the only one, most of these influencers have dodgy glo-ups which is why I decided to save myself the heartache and pressure by unfollowing all of them and I have decided to gain motivation from men and women that are closer to home.

You know what they say about viruses right? There just isn’t any cure for them, they can only be treated. I was sick with a virus for the longest period in 2017 and this was even worse than the Coronavirus. Sadly, I didn’t even know that I was sick. I had reached a point in my life when I wanted to be the best version of other people except my vision. Yes, visions have different versions. You just choose the favorable one. My life was all about getting what the girls on Instagram were getting. The nails, the weaves, the lashes and the good food. 

Influencers controlled my life. I deleted every Instagram post I had because they were too plain and I did not look good enough. I got fake nails which it took me a while to realize they were not my kind of swag. Fake nails really make me uncomfortable. I’d rather have short nails with a bit of nail polish on. I bought clothes which I don’t even know anymore and the phone I’m using now needs an upgrade because God forbid Apple spend a year without a new update. That was me until I realized that these women were literally forcing me to become someone I did not even want. I was no longer the “Girl With A Business Plan”. Influencers will persuade you to do things that you do not want to do and their virus has spread all over the world. 

The reason why I have decided to talk about this now is because many girls are still falling victim to them. Would you want your daughter to be Kylie Jenner or Greta Thunberg? Don’t you want to raise a young woman that wants to change the one and not one that is screaming, “you should watch what I do and envy my life” on every Instagram post. Please don’t get me wrong, there are a few things to admire about the kardashians and Jenners but there is plenty more you will find in other great women. I now follow women who are ready to change the world. I don’t care if she has two followers. What I care about is what she does, how she does it and draw inspiration from it. I got so tired of feeling down because I could not reach a level of riches whose sources I could not trace. 

The truth is, life is not a bed of roses and you’re going to have to work for everything that you want. Working girls understand that their hard earned money is worth more than $1500 Christian Louboutins. That kind of flex is for millionaires. A bed of roses has it thorn. So take the pain and run with it until you reach your ultimate goal. Your hustle will off.

Piece of advice: stop following influencers and look up to women who are making a difference in society. Thanks. 

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#MentalHealthMonday: 7 Steps to Achieving Mental Peace

Mental peace is so sacred and important. It should be a priority especially in this day and age when we are influenced by so many people on social media. It is hard to hold on to your personal mantra and what you stand for. Welcome to the digital age. Today I would like to talk about an issue that I have been trying to solve for a very long time, Mental Peace. Mental Peace is the same as inner peace. It’s a state of calmness and tranquility. Freedom from worry, depression, stress and anxiety. Who does not want that? So how does one achieve mental peace? Well

1. Try to keep things simple

Do not complicate your life. Think of your life as a cake that you are baking. Would you want it all messed up with a wide range of colors that do not make sense? No? Then make sure you do not complicate what does not need to be complicated.

2. Live in the moment and don’t overthink

I faced this problem a lot. It’s mostly overthinking and creating crazy scenarios in your head that do not even have a happy ending. Daydreaming and adulting are a recipe for disaster. Do not mix the two.

3. Don’t let your mind lead you to dark places

The mind can be a scary tool if not used properly. Try to fill it with happy thoughts all the time.

4. Make small improvements daily in your life

Take a short course. Get a new hobby. Just do anything that makes you stay relevant.

5. Stay active physically – keep your body moving

You do not need a gym subscription. All it takes is a short walk or a jog early in the morning or at sunset. Whatever you do just make sure you are active,

6. Be mindful of what you eat

Take note of what you feed your body. Sometimes a bad diet could lead to indigestion which in turn causes a few mental health problems. Always eat a balanced diet.

7. Stay Busy – it is key to contentment

If you are busy you will remain unbothered by what people say about you and others. You exist in your own world with close to zero distractions.

So remember these seven golden rules and also that mental health issues are serious and we should always be kind to one another and always try to show love. You never know what battle one is fighting. Spread love always.

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