Men have Shadaya, we have Asha Christina. Balance baby. If men are being told to stop being simps then it’s high time we also learnt how to behave around men. It’s high time we as women learnt emotional maturity. The probability of our aunties and moms talking to us about such issues are very slim so why not help each other out. The first thing one needs to do to be emotionally detached to every guy we date until he is a 100% sure and makes it known to you that he wants you.

I’ve learnt a few things from Asha Christina and I believe that this information will go a long way into helping women survive in the world of dating or as we like to call it, Mjolo. It’s a whole pandemic.

1. Think with your head not with your heart

This is not easy. The heart can be very deceitful. It’s so easy to automatically start liking a guy when he starts acting better than your ex. Yes you read that right. There is a huge difference between a guy that treats you right the way you are supposed to and the guy that treats you better than your ex. This is why it’s so easy to fall for some of this men. Always keep your guard up. Make a list of the qualities you want in your ideal man and check the boxes the guy you like ticks. My friends and I have decided that 3 strikes and his out.

 

2. Do not date one person. 

This is not for everyone because I cannot do it. The idea of entertaining more than one guy irks me. Men are trash and when I go dumpster diving I pick the less musty one and analyze it to see if it fits into my life, unfortunately on some windy days the trash goes with the wind. But if you can do it then date multiple people and stop putting your eggs in one basket. Do not be like me. The only anniversaries I’ve been celebrating since I started dating are the heartbreak ones. Yes I am one of the most toasted girls of Zimbabwe. H for hectic.

3. Keep yourself busy and never cancel plans for a guy.

Don’t always be available. You’ll end up taking a backseat in their roaster. My friend Kudzi once warned me against this but I never listen, like him, I am always available. You will either find me at home or at work and all the time my phone will be with me. He clearly said that one should play hard to get but I never listen. Maybe it’s because I am afraid of losing people. When I like a guy I want him to know. I give him hints and all but men, men will hurt you regardless of how much you show them you like them. The worst thing that can ever happen is a guy  knowing that you like them. This means that they know that you are willing to fit them into any part of your life and they take advantage of that. If you are a fellow clown then read this next carefully. PUT YOURSELF FIRST. If you want to sleep, sleep. If you want to go out with friends do it. If your battery is low, let your phone charge instead of entertaining that boy. Until he clearly shows you that he wants you. Once a guy that does not like you knows you care, they will be scarce. Quote me.

4. Remember everything that happened when you became emotionally attached.

Do not meditate on this but just remember this when you are about to commit to another guy. The way your exes made you feel should always be a constant reminder of how ruthless men can be. I always remember how none of the men I dated never made me a priority and when I find myself giving a guy too much of my time and information about my life I start panicking. Friends also play a huge role in helping you with this. My friends at least. They are quick to remind me of the days I would only drink wine and cry myself to sleep. My routine was wake up, bath, cry,  work, starve, cry, cry some more, drink wine, cry even harder and sleep. Funny how my family never noticed that I was dying on the inside. But that’s mjolo for you so stay woke.

5. Associate your emotions with surrender until you get a commitment. 

Finally, something I have been successful at. Clap for me, I graduated from self sabotaging to just reminding myself that when there is no commitment then there is no relationship. Until a boy says that he wants to be with me then I am single. Simple. Delete that possibility, that cute little “us” stuck in your head until he proves himself worthy of you. Men used to fight for love back then.

I really hope this helps someone out there. We are queens not clowns.

Here is one of Asha Christina’s latest video below. 

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