This is my first letter to you and the first thing that popped into my head when I started typing is, “Do I really know you?”. If we’ve actually met before. I am scared because I do not think you are among the boys and men that I know already. Here I am, 22 years old and worried that I might never get married because dating has not been a walk in the park for me. There were a dozen times when I thought I had found you. First there was my good friend theย  chemical engineer. Trust me I was battling too many demons to actually tell him how much he meant but if it’s not meant to be then it’s not. Next there was the confused scientist, first year varsity. He just did not know what he wanted but I actually thought we would make a great couple. Funny how I do not even care about what he does anymore. Confusion is not wanted here.

Thirdly there was the diplomat. He was a player. The guy dribbled my heart like it was a basketball but I did not even break then, I kept soldiering on because I believed that he would realize that he had a good thing in front of him. After him I got into the most normal relationship with a sweet scientist. Unfortunately he did not speak my love language and that created a barrier between us after the honeymoon phase. I just quit on him. Then after him there were two married men that tried to turn me into a small house but I made a promise to myself that I would never be involved with someone else’s lover. I am better than that. The first time I did not expect him to be married and it shocked me so bad I could not eat for over a month and I lost weight and focus on my life. It almost destroyed me. The second and last time I did my own research and ghosted him within 3 days of talking.

Never get involved with a married man, these are bonds created by God.

My biggest prayer is that we speak each other’s love language and know each other’s ups and downs. I have mastered the art of submission and I think the respect I will have for you will shock even my parents. Take care of yourself and when we finally say our I do’s I am going to give you the warmest and tightest hug ever because I know I am going to love you.

 

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