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One of the promises I made to myself in 2019 was to be more organized in 2020. I want to be able to make sure I finish all my tasks and chores thoroughly and perfectly. 2020 is low-key standing for perfection.

One strategy I tried to adopt was the to-do list. I saw a blogger posting about how proud she was for completing her tasks for the day and I got so excited. A whole me thought that this was the answer I needed all along. To make a to do list and follow it everyday. 

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Unfortunately I made one grave mistake. I didn’t research properly on how a to do list is structured and the minimum and maximum tasks that can be added to one. I did not even weigh the tasks. I just bombarded my poor diary with a list of things I thought I could finish in a single day. To help you picture how bad it was, just imagine a list which includes finishing two assignments, writing notes and publishing two blog posts. The minimum page number for our assignments is 10 and most of them are research based, in fact all of them are. It may seem like it’s not much but trust me, it’s a mountain of tasks. 

You’re probably wondering what happened next, right? Well I crumbled. It was almost bedtime and I hadn’t completed 60% of my to do list. I felt so lazy and useless. I could not even remember what I had done the whole day even though I had attended 3 lectures, taken my laptop to the repair shop, written a few notes, made a few twitches on my project and work on my resume. Yet it still felt like nothing. Bedtime is usually around 11 pm but 2 hours later I was still awake and I broke down into tears. I was awake doing nothing again. My mind could not drift away from the mere thought of me using the time I was daydreaming to actually study or work on one of my projects. If I did not know any better I would’ve ended up having a panic attack and it would not end well. (A story for another day). There was so much I had done wrong in trying to be organized and my mental peace was being attacked. 

Image result for anxiety gif"

This is what I obviously got wrong: 

  1. A to do list shouldn’t be flooded 
  2. The list should contain a mixture of easy and hard tasks so I have time to rest 
  3. It’s not a crime to not complete a to do list 

Do not get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a to do list but there is everything wrong with wanting to be superwoman like the women in magazines that seem like they can do it all. Don’t burn your fuse whilst trying to be a task hero (yes that goes for me too).

Until next time. Live, love and matter.


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