COMPROMISE, but don’t lose yourself!

How many times have you had to change or pretend to be someone else just to impress a friend or a crush. My guess is numerous times.

When you thought being a different version of you would make them happy and like you more. It’s sad really. Maybe you are the extrovert that had to act like their typical Saturday night would be a good book or a movie. And maybe at the end of the day that same person ended up leaving. 


I’ve been that girl and believe me, its not worth it. Looking back at the person I was and the person I am trying to be, I am a bit embarrassed. I’ve climbed mountains for people who would never walk a mile for me and I’m angry at the fact that I let myself be that person.

I have made stupid sacrifices, even when it was not necessary. One of my former friends was the chilled type, and to keep her close I tried to be her, I thought her character was the one that would take me to the King of kings.

I was wrong. Trying to be her made me sad and depressed. Because when I drifted back to my original self. It was as if I was acting out of character. I was losing myself trying to be someone else. Trying to be a good girl that would shock my own biological mother. What’s worse is how the friendship did not even last because eventually I had to go and be with people who understood me, in an environment where I did not have to lie or pretend. 

I get that sometimes we have to make sacrifices because we love someone. I do that for my parents and my siblings. It’s okay but you do not have to leave behind that part of you that makes you, you. I’m not encouraging anything bad here but if casual drinking is not your thing then do not do it if that is what makes you happy. If its something you enjoy then go have fun, do not let anyone stop you!

We do not realise how much our values mean to us and how losing them might affect us but it does. No true friend will question your character and leave you for it. The least they can do is try to understand why you’re like that and help, not criticise you. 

You deserve a friend that brings out the best in you and does try to make you the perfect friend for them. Don’t lose who you are because you are trying to win someone. You are better than that.

(16) Comments

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    1. Tanaka Daka says:


  2. Tavonga says:

    Thank you sis … This is so true we have even lost some people who were true friends and understood us for who we are in trying to impress people who now as we look back we can’t even explain why we were friends in the first place,Here is to staying true to our selves ? ??

  3. Asani says:

    Sometimes it is worth it sometimes not, when compromising for others ,one should also look at how beneficial this would be for him/her in the future even after that relationship comes to an end

    1. Tanaka Daka says:

      You are welcome hun

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