Always Choose Happiness

“Laughter is the language of the soul” 

– Pablo Neruda 

Happiness has been defined wrongly so many times. It’s been called so many things and if you find yourself trying to make sense of all the definitions out there then you will be wasting your precious time. I’m not even going to try and define it. Happiness to me is an abstract term. It can mean so much and mean so little at the same time. I used to think happiness was a trunk full of junk food, 7 years down the line happiness is following a strict non meat and no processed food diet. Being happy does not mean smiling like an idiot 24/7. It means doing what makes your heart skip a beat, what gives you butterflies in your stomach and makes you feel at peace. Happiness is what brings you that amazing feeling that you’re chasing all day everyday to feel complete and it can be anything. The same things don’t bring us joy. You probably like lots of extra toppings on your ice cream whilst 3 scoops of plain Devonshire will send me to my happy place. 

One of my 2020 resolutions is: 

To Be Happy 

And I’ve decided to work on the following things to stay that way. 

  1. Accept what I can and cannot change. 
  2. Let people do what makes them happy. This is because so many times I’ve tried to let people fit into certain criteria’s that make them the perfect friends and it resulted in me being so frustrated. 
  3. Find love. Last year I had to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself that I am not a widow. So watch the space darling *sips tea*.
  4. My blog, my rules. I’ve forced myself to be the best by trying to follow the influencers and guess what? I lost it all. So I’m gonna do me. 
  5. Spoil myself. I make money and spend it on other things except myself so I guess it’s time to change that. 
  6. Spread love. Not only through my Foundation but straight from my heart. I just want to love and be loved. 
  7. Mute toxic people. 
  8. Maybe travel. I am going to do this alone or with a squad so if you have any trips planned and you have space for one more, count me in. 
  9. Learn. Knowledge makes me so happy. I love knowing things and how they became that way. It helps me grow. 
  10. Feel every moment for as long as it lasts 

What are your plans on staying happy this year? Sorry for being abstract but I hope you do get a few pointers. 

Chase happiness. Always. 

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Mental Health Monday: What’s a toxic parent?

A toxic person is anyone who is abusive, unsupportive, or unhealthy emotionally—someone who basically brings you down more than up. The same goes for a toxic parent. 

Yesterday I kept tossing and turning trying to figure out what I would talk about today and then a good friend of mine, Speaker Tendai Dara then bought up the issue of identifying and dealing with toxic parents. His question to me was, “Are you scared of being a toxic parent?” My answer was obviously a diluted yes. I don’t want to be a toxic parent but then again what is the proper definition of one? When I have children I want to love them with all I am and all I have but the tricky part is how can I do that without being toxic to them. There are almost 15 traits of a bad parent and after being raised in an African household, it’s not easy to be a whole new parent. I do not want to harm my child in any way even if I adopted them.

Here’s a link to a whole article on toxic parenting, I advise you read it and all understand.

Read it here.

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Agree or disagree?

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I Lost My Blog

If you are looking for my previous blog posts then I am sorry to inform you that they are gone. Everything is gone except the domain.

Yes, I lost my blog.

At first I thought I was dreaming then I realized I was not and the depression hit me harder I had ever imagined. This is me talking about what exactly happened for the first time. Allow me to vent.

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The reason why I started blogging was because I needed a sanctuary. After my first year in university I suffered a lot mentally and I did not have anyone to talk to. I have a lot of friends and family but I do not have people to tell my problems. The only thing I’m open about is my hunger. I will post a thousand WA statuses on how I haven’t eaten all day because the bank did me dirty again but when it comes to the things that really bother me, I’d rather cry myself to sleep. This time I realized that if I did not revive the blog and start over I was going to go through the greatest depression ever. Typing everything down would be my therapy.

And if you really wanna know how I lost my blog well, lets just say it was an experimental error. The good or bad part is that it was not even my fault. I am just the victim of a bad hosting provider.

To be honest I am almost over it. You win some you lose some. The trick is in rising up no matter how many times you fall.

Like Bebe said, YOU CAN’T STOP THE GIRL!

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